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New Year Resolutions
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I have, over the last 50 years, rather avoided making new year resolutions. My old house master marked one end of term report “weak of will and easily led”. Fair comment. I shall therefore stick to my booze, smokes and loose women confident in the knowledge my weakness for them all is pre-ordained.
However, this year I will try and give a few things a shot. I feel I could make more effort in cross party relationships where there is common political and social ground. In the interests of the common good and with a view to improving the low esteem in which politicians are generally held.
How to do this? I will pluck up the courage to invite Signora Mussolini to lunch. I have long since admired her from afar especially when she publicly thrashed me for suggesting women did not clean behind the fridge. I shall improve my relationships with the Lib Dems by taking the beautiful Rebecca Wright (assistant to Elspeth Attwooll) out to dinner. I shall join forces with the Europhiles on UK gold plating and stop sniggering at the more bizarre members of the Women’s Committee. I shall endeavour to take Alexander Stubb as seriously as he takes himself. I promise to be less partisan in my support of parliamentary vice presidents and appreciate that in certain cultural backgrounds getting away to lunch is more important than the voting.
In short I promise to buck up!
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